A cigarette is trapped
in her crinkled, pursed up lips.
Smoke twists away in
curls of gray from her face.
She knows better, but
there’s self-loathing woven in with her love.
Better off now than she
ever was her mind tugs.
Neat and tidy in
everyone’s view, a taunting string threatens her with unraveling.
Pulling it would mean
destroying things in the pattern she designed.
Not an easy fix, pushing
the thoughts back in with the string now stuck in the needle.
While no one’s watching
she’s busy sewing, stitching herself back together.
Careful not to expose the
secrets of her stuffing, hidden behind this bespoke version.
There’s a pause between
these thoughts of hers, lingering in the ashtray.
Slow ashes are still
burning from her cigarette put out too early, searing off the string.