Dog Dream

I woke up tonight startled. 

I had to identify a dead dog; my friends tried to save it but he was belly up in the water headed toward a small flow through in a bridge   

This dream, it means so many things. 

The end of a man losing his journey while he slept. Your daughter loves you; she looks just like you.  Your granddaughter is everything you said she was and seeing her buried in her mother's side both broken and missing you is more than this heart can take. 

The man leaving my side to be in another part of the country, thank you for taking me out of my shell. I hate that I miss you already, it makes me feel weak. I’m happy for you and angry at you, and no it's not right but that's how these feelings register. You feel like family to me and I’m just not ready for you to leave. 

That dog, that dog is loss. That dog is losing a best friend, that dog is losing great men, that dog floating away from me, part of a future that I had imagined differently. One that can never be. My cheeks are wet, and sadness is set free.

Used Gum

I think they cut something bad out of me.

People are telling me they remember me, the old me, and how good it is to see me.

It hasn't been a one-time thing, it's not flippant, it's filled with purpose and certainty.  

I've found myself again, a piece of pain pulled from me.  

Like a piece of used chewing gum, that's what they said to me.